What do I look for in a good therapist?
Everyone goes through periods in our lives when we feel low. While it is normal to have low points, being stuck in a rut for too long can have unhealthy consequences. If you are reading this, chances are you may have been there or you may be looking for a little support to help you through difficult times. As Singaporeans are educated on the importance of mental health and self-care, seeking therapy should not be seen as a bad thing. Instead, it takes a lot of courage and strength to seek therapy, be it for things like depressed feelings or for personal growth. Here is a list of things to consider when shopping for a therapist.
Budget
Therapy can be costly especially over a long period. Healing does not happen overnight, and it is common to seek therapy consistently over several months or years as we manoeuvre through our issues and work on self-improvement. Do consider your budget when deciding on a therapist. A therapist may not be the ‘best’ in the field, but seeing someone ‘good enough’ may be more feasible than breaking the bank for a therapist with lots of qualifications.
Type of Therapy
Different therapists use different models in treatment and they each have pros and cons. Some are more solution-focused, using methods such as cognitive behavioural therapy in counseling. These techniques use one’s conscious thought to achieve a certain goal. Some therapists like art therapists adopt psychodynamic approaches focusing on the origin, such as the client’s family of origin and attachment patterns. Psychodynamic therapy is used over a period of time and recognised for inspiring deeper and long-term change in the individual.
‘Vibes’ or how connected you feel
Sometimes, it could just be chemistry and how you feel with your therapist. We somehow click better with some people than with others. Our senses also pick up on non-verbal cues such as micro facial expressions and bodily gestures. It can however be helpful to remain curious about why we feel a certain way, and explore this with the therapist.
Therapy Environment
Consider the place where your therapy is held. Does it feel safe and contained? Do you worry that others might see or hear you? Is the environment calming or stimulating? Living in an urban environment our senses are often bombarded with various sights, sounds and smells. Some people like children or those on the autism spectrum may also be more easily stimulated. Do you experience the therapy space as a comforting oasis, or something else?
Openness of Therapist to Feedback
Your therapist may seem like the expert and you are paying them for their service. Therapists are however still human and not perfect, and we cannot read your mind. A good therapist is willing to recognise that the client knows themselves best. Therapy should be a two-way conversation, so your therapist should be open to receiving feedback from you if you feel that the therapy is not going in the direction you would like, or if there was something you were not comfortable with. As therapy is a space where you should be allowed to feel safe to be vulnerable, your safety should be a priority.
Not Afraid to Challenge
Part of therapy is learning how to care for yourself, and to imagine the possibility of new ways of thinking and being. Your therapist may comfort you and at times challenge you, in appropriate ways of course. Validation from others may be a part of human nature, but if a therapist is seeking approval and validation from their client, they may be afraid of posing challenges to the client. When this happens, you may find that growth seems to have halted and you reach a plateau. Although healing does not happen in a linear fashion, a good therapist knows when to challenge their client so that they can be open to new ways of seeing things.
These are just some factors to consider when looking for a therapist and is by no means an exhaustive list. As we are all unique, we all look for different things when choosing a therapist. There is no right or wrong, only what you feel best suits your needs.